Of the new year and cleaning out the should

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I like the idea of getting to start over with a (relatively) clean slate at the beginning of every month. Why should a new year be any different? Considering what 2013 crammed up my ass sideways, I’m not sure what to expect for 2014. Though 2013 did redeem itself at the last minute in the form of a promotion and a raise. I’m not going to vow to lose 15 pounds, run a mile in under 5 minutes, and adopt some extreme diet. Instead, I’m going to stop “shoulding” on myself. I should do this, I should do that, I should [insert ridiculous goal that doesn’t fit my lifestyle or tastes]. 

For example, I’ve been taking aerial silks classes off and on for over 3 years. Girls who started in the same intro class have progressed to performance level. I can’t even hold my body weight up for more than a few seconds. There was one particular apparatus, lyra, I really enjoyed. The teacher wanted to do it in a series rather than drop in. My schedule doesn’t really allow for series classes. If I missed one, there was no opportunity to make it up. Apparently a lot of other people were the same. The class didn’t last very long. Silks aren’t really doing it for me. I enjoy the ground based classes like gymnastics & handstands a lot more. They recently hired a new teacher who is willing to do drop in lyra classes twice a week. I figured I’d drop in (har de har har) to see if I still enjoy it. If I do, keep going. If I don’t, forget about it. Other students look at me like I’m nuts when I say I don’t enjoy fabrics. They can stare blankly all they want. I know what I enjoy. There’s no need for me to force myself to go to silks classes because I “should”. I can gain plenty of upper body strength in gymnastics / handstand class thankyouverymuch. We’ll see how lyra works out.

I “should” learn Spanish because it’s practical. I have no desire to learn Spanish. I’d rather learn Italian. Practical? Not all. Enjoyable? Damn straight. I “should” finish a book. If I hate it, I can put it down and walk away. I “should” get out of bed and go to an early dance class on the weekends. Don’t want to get out of bed? Screw it and stay in bed. I “should” stay up to a certain hour because going to bed at 930 isn’t cool. Tired? Go to to bed and ignore the imaginary haters.

With the new year comes another closet purge. I’m reasonably certain my weight / size has settled. I looked at myself in the full length mirrors in ballet on Wednesday. I saw my body as it is right now. I’ll never have boobs. I have a small waist, big thighs, and a butt. That’s okay. It’s so, so much easier to dress when I’m honest with how I’m built. I really want to focus on neutrals for the base and go wild and crazy with the accessories. Bauble Bar is my new jewelry crack. I wear the big stupid fake diamond earrings I got there all the time. There are several pairs of pants from J.Crew I’m looking at with lust in my heart. And shoes from Nine West. I have a pair of ballet flats from there that are about 10 seconds away from falling apart. I’ve said it before, but didn’t follow through. I want a base wardrobe that’s full of basics that will hold up well. I’m taking the Queer Eye approach. If I haven’t worn it in 2 weeks, it can go. I know the thrift store loves it when I come in with my giant boxes of clothes. Come prom season, I’ll load them up with all my old formal dresses which just take up space. Since my birthday is less than 3 weeks after Christmas, there should be plenty of gift cards that will need using. 😀

Things that make me smile:

*Rainy Sundays where I don’t have to do anything

*Kitten cuddles


*Eating chocolate for breakfast (one of the perks of being a grown up)

*Glittery shoes