Of the dreaded strengths & weakness question and the BFF filter

Today was the first time I got to be the interviewer rather than the interviewee.

I had a minor meltdown over it last night. The perfectionist kicked in. I *had* to be an excellent interviewer right off the bat. I *had* to impress everyone. I *had* to take my boss’ previous experiences with several of the candidates into consideration. I was given a total of 16 resumes and narrowed the field down to 8 for interviews. At the same time, I have to pick up everything in my new position with 100% accuracy. If not, I’m an epic failure who deserves to be publicly flogged for her shortcomings. I put myself through the “BFF” filter. Would I tell my closest friends the same things I was telling myself? Absolutely not. I’d probably kick someone who spoke that way to someone I love. Yet I keep listening to my own bullshit. I take those horrible words as gospel. Once I turned on that filter, I backtracked most of the rest of the night. If I caught myself going down that path, I’d put it through the BFF filter. Only about 2% of the thoughts passed. That’s a bit scary, n’est pas?

I’ve got 9 interviews scheduled from today until next Tuesday. A second batch of resumes will find its way into my inbox tomorrow morning. I navigated the first three with no problems. My boss sat with me for the first one, gave me feedback, and I was on my own for the next 2. I’l give him my feedback on everyone I talk to. He made it clear that this is my decision. He has his opinions and advice, but I have the last word. I’ll interview people through next Friday, then make my decision the week of the 10th (P.S. when did it get to be March?!). I didn’t think it was fair to the people who applied later to not get a crack at it. I also purposely scheduled a lot of people to interview for my own practice. Hopefully by the last few people, I’ll have come up with a better question than “what are your strengths / weaknesses?”. I hate that one. Too bad my BFF filter doesn’t have a solution for that one.

On a completely frivolous note, I’m trying some new perfumes. I learned the hard way to test fragrances out first before committing to anything. I have several small samples to test run. I keep smelling myself to see how they’re mellowing on my skin. I’m not crazy about the one I’m wearing now. I liked the one from yesterday better. Conveniently, there are a total of 7 samples to try. I’m also eyeing more glittery things to wear on my head and ridiculously sized rings. If I could get away with wearing the glittery animal ears at work, I totally would. Until then, I’ll just have to settle for my big, stupid earrings.



Of more winter weather and our dirty little secrets

Alright y’all, I’m going to be straight with you.

I like being a bitch. I like the hit ’em where it hurts, twist the knife, then walk away feeling superior feeling. I like to doing it to people who have it coming. I’m not shy about it. I’m not sneaky. Given I have all the subtlety of a shotgun blast in a SmartCar, this comes as no surprise. If you piss me off or hurt someone I care about, I will use every trick I know to prove a point. If you’re being an idiot or just trying to get attention, I’ll gleefully knock you down a few pegs. You may prefer to pick on the little guy, but I’ll give you no choice but to face someone your own size. There will be no doubt as to how I feel or where I stand. There will, of course, be classless profanities thrown in for dramatic effect. As I said, it’s its own rush. I like knowing I’m the smartest one in the room. I like knowing that I can insult you and leave you thinking “What the hell just happened?”. That’s if the insult didn’t do a flyby entirely. I’ll let you parade around for a while thinking I have no interest. It’s the emotional payoff of a movie. It’s the scene where the asshole gets their ass handed to them. I take great pleasure and great pride in my own contribution to this. If you’re on my good side, I’ll go to the ends of the Earth to defend and protect you. If you’re on my shit list, do the math.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, I’m working from home today. Clusterflake 2.0 is kicking into gear. It’s been raining / sleeting off and on. At first I felt guilty not going in, but my ride wasn’t going in either. It looks like tomorrow and Thursday are only going to get worse. Looking out the window at the rotating precipitation has helped, too. There’s a real possibility I won’t be back in the office until Friday. Fortunately, I can access most of what I need remotely. For as much as I just flaunted my bitch side, I’m still a responsible employee. I do have a reputation to uphold, after all. It’s the same drill only instead of a blouse and a skirt, I’m in rainbow colored knee socks, a penguin sweatshirt, paisley shorts, and frizzy hair fest 2014 on my head. Milan is calling. They’re dying to replicate my style for next season.

For those of you in fabulous weather, I am jealous. For those in consistent cold weather, I am also jealous. For the rest of us where Mother Nature appears to have developed multiple personalities, March can only bring better things. Right? Right?


Of the new year and cleaning out the should

I’m not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. I like the idea of getting to start over with a (relatively) clean slate at the beginning of every month. Why should a new year be any different? Considering what 2013 crammed up my ass sideways, I’m not sure what to expect for 2014. Though 2013 did redeem itself at the last minute in the form of a promotion and a raise. I’m not going to vow to lose 15 pounds, run a mile in under 5 minutes, and adopt some extreme diet. Instead, I’m going to stop “shoulding” on myself. I should do this, I should do that, I should [insert ridiculous goal that doesn’t fit my lifestyle or tastes]. 

For example, I’ve been taking aerial silks classes off and on for over 3 years. Girls who started in the same intro class have progressed to performance level. I can’t even hold my body weight up for more than a few seconds. There was one particular apparatus, lyra, I really enjoyed. The teacher wanted to do it in a series rather than drop in. My schedule doesn’t really allow for series classes. If I missed one, there was no opportunity to make it up. Apparently a lot of other people were the same. The class didn’t last very long. Silks aren’t really doing it for me. I enjoy the ground based classes like gymnastics & handstands a lot more. They recently hired a new teacher who is willing to do drop in lyra classes twice a week. I figured I’d drop in (har de har har) to see if I still enjoy it. If I do, keep going. If I don’t, forget about it. Other students look at me like I’m nuts when I say I don’t enjoy fabrics. They can stare blankly all they want. I know what I enjoy. There’s no need for me to force myself to go to silks classes because I “should”. I can gain plenty of upper body strength in gymnastics / handstand class thankyouverymuch. We’ll see how lyra works out.

I “should” learn Spanish because it’s practical. I have no desire to learn Spanish. I’d rather learn Italian. Practical? Not all. Enjoyable? Damn straight. I “should” finish a book. If I hate it, I can put it down and walk away. I “should” get out of bed and go to an early dance class on the weekends. Don’t want to get out of bed? Screw it and stay in bed. I “should” stay up to a certain hour because going to bed at 930 isn’t cool. Tired? Go to to bed and ignore the imaginary haters.

With the new year comes another closet purge. I’m reasonably certain my weight / size has settled. I looked at myself in the full length mirrors in ballet on Wednesday. I saw my body as it is right now. I’ll never have boobs. I have a small waist, big thighs, and a butt. That’s okay. It’s so, so much easier to dress when I’m honest with how I’m built. I really want to focus on neutrals for the base and go wild and crazy with the accessories. Bauble Bar is my new jewelry crack. I wear the big stupid fake diamond earrings I got there all the time. There are several pairs of pants from J.Crew I’m looking at with lust in my heart. And shoes from Nine West. I have a pair of ballet flats from there that are about 10 seconds away from falling apart. I’ve said it before, but didn’t follow through. I want a base wardrobe that’s full of basics that will hold up well. I’m taking the Queer Eye approach. If I haven’t worn it in 2 weeks, it can go. I know the thrift store loves it when I come in with my giant boxes of clothes. Come prom season, I’ll load them up with all my old formal dresses which just take up space. Since my birthday is less than 3 weeks after Christmas, there should be plenty of gift cards that will need using. 😀

Things that make me smile:

*Rainy Sundays where I don’t have to do anything

*Kitten cuddles


*Eating chocolate for breakfast (one of the perks of being a grown up)

*Glittery shoes


Of pretty little boxes and your lovely author

The game on Facebook about random facts has inspired me. Some are obvious, some are less obvious. Some are funny, some are just strange. Since I love lists, a bunch of random facts about yours truly.

*I have visible tattoos and dress like a vintage pin up or Audrey Hepburn which confuses the hell out of people.

*I drink green smoothies in the morning and finish off my day with brie and baguette.

*I’m just as comfortable at a shooting range as I am at a cocktail party.

*Sparkles are mandatory but mascara is negotiable. I’ll wear sparkly bunny ears with jeans and cowboy boots.

*I work in financial services but never had any interest in math or economics.

*I’ll use pet names, even if I’m not your biggest fan. Though I think that’s more Southern than anything. Ten seconds later, I’ll be swearing up a blue streak.

*I’m open minded about social issues, but have irrational dislikes for things like other states. If I have a say, I’ll never set foot in Ohio.

*If I’m listening to music with any regularity, I’m not reading as much. If I’m reading high brow non-fiction or fiction, I’m listening to trashy pop music. If I’m reading mindless beach books, I’m listening to esoteric indie bands I found off Butch Walker’s Twitter feed. It’s a closed system.

*If I like you, I’ll fall all over you with hugs and kisses. If I don’t like you, you try to touch me and you’ll draw back a bloody stump.

*I like the theory of travel, but the actual act is less fun. I hate long flights and car trips. If I could teleport, I’d be all over going to New Zealand. Taking 24 hours to get there in reality? No thanks.

*I love comic book movies, but I could count the number of comics I’ve actually read on one hand.

*I love college football and went to a school that didn’t have a football team (or men, for that matter).

*I can take or leave yoga and circus classes, but don’t take away my ballet classes.

*My wild phase never involved illegal drugs. I’ve never even tried marijuana.

*I’m afraid of heights, but only indoors.

*I have about 3 unfinished novels saved on my laptop.

Nobody fits into a pretty little box. Run with it.