Of getting to the point and finding it in the first place

Commutes give me a lot of time to think. It’s one thing when there’s another person in the car and you can chat on the drive. It’s entirely another when you’re by yourself for half an hour or more. For example, Boy was watching Cosmos last night (a reboot of the original Carl Sagan show about basic science. I had to Wiki it, personally). I asked what the point of the show was. He replied it was simply to get people interested in science in the first place, nothing more grand than that. Say what?

Sometimes, there is no point. Some things just are.

It hit me on my commute in this morning. Not everything has to have a “point”. This, of course, goes against everything the contrary part of me loves. Everything has a point. It’s the natural order of the world. Maybe, just maybe, that isn’t how it works. I love to prove a point and I love being right. Who doesn’t? Being right is awesome. However, if there’s no point to be proven, there’s no right or wrong (see how I tied that back to my last post? Go me!). Things don’t have to have a grand ending or a high level reason for existing. Nothing should have to justify itself. That includes me.

I haven’t been to dance in a week nor have I gotten any real exercise since then. That little voice in my head started up after a few days. “You’re lazy”. “You’re going to get fat”. “Why are you wasting your time lazing on the couch with your boyfriend when you should be spending hours in the studio?”. Because, goddamnit, I want to laze on the couch with my boyfriend watching mindless TV. I’ve been worrying about my dad the past week because of his brain surgery. They couldn’t find the right combination of medication for him and he ended up back in the ER. Daylight Savings Time, as usual, took its toll on top of that. I don’t need to justify my actions to that little nasty voice. Once again, the BFF filter kicks in. Would I ever tell one of my friends any of that? Of course not. One of the things I love most about my hobbies is I can walk away from them for a little while. My brain is trying to prove a point to itself. Half of it, the nasty half, is right. The rational half is wrong. It’s one thing to give a little nudge. It’s entirely another to say “I’m right, you’re wrong,”. 

I have a sticky note at my desk that reads “be fluid, not forced”. Fluidity is something I constantly struggle with. I feel guilty about not going to enough dance classes to justify the cost. I set up a regimented schedule for the week, then beat myself up for not sticking to it whether it’s for work, play, or both. I’m no longer at the mercy of someone else’s schedule. If I decide at 4p that I don’t feel like going to a dance class at 5p, that’s okay. I may want to hike to the northern suburbs on a Saturday morning to take some of those classes. I may not feel like it the following week. If I get something thrown at me suddenly at work, it’s okay. I don’t have to flail around like someone threw a ball at my head. I have a replacement hired & ready to round out my department, but I won’t have him full time until the 24th. More and more people are requiring my time. I’m happy and grateful to be promoted, but I have to flip things around a lot. I may have my own little plan for the day that could very well, and frequently does, get shaken up. Inflexibility makes life harder on everyone. No bueno.

It’s okay to let go of having to be right. It’s okay for things to not have a “point”. It’s okay to ebb and flow. It’s best to take my own advice. 😀



Of the longest commute ever and physics

It took me almost 7 hours to get home yesterday.

As I’m sure everyone is aware, winter showed up on a Tuesday this year. Depending on the weather source, the appearance of said storm was highly contested. When would it arrive? Morning! Wait, no! Afternoon! How much were we looking at? Well, erm, 2 inches? Wait! It’ll be south of the city itself, fear not! The first few flakes started falling a little after 1230 at my office. They made the executive decision to close the office around 230. And so did the schools. And so did every other establishment in 12 metro counties with a total population of 6 million people. Everyone hit the streets between 2-3p yesterday. I got in the car at 330p. By 915p, we were stuck sitting on a hill. It was close enough to the house, that I got out and hoofed it. I walked in the house a little before 10p. Everyone (*cough cough* those north of the Mason-Dixon line & west of Mississippi) has been making fun of us for nothing being able to handle it. Fortunately, certain bloggers and actual reporters have a rebuttal. As do I.

Yes, people in Atlanta can’t drive. This is a well established fact. Even rain will slow down a commute by about 30 minutes. However, snow isn’t our problem. It’s ice. That’s fine and dandy when traffic is at least moving. The heat of the cars keeps it slushy enough to get traction. Not so when you’re sitting still. That’s simple physics, kids. Show me a Northerner who can drive on ice with no problem (and no snow chains), then I’ll shut up. It’s also no secret that Atlanta is a driving city. We have no public transportation to speak of unless you’re either within the city limits or close to it. Most people had no choice but to get in the car to get home, pick up their kids, or some combination of both. As I walked the 2 miles back to the house, it looked like a scene from a zombie movie. Maybe 15 cars drove by after I crested the hill (a 3 car spinout was the issue stopping traffic in this case). People had abandoned their cars on the side of the road for one reason or another. Seeing as The Walking Dead is filmed here, it would appear life is imitating fiction. My dad ended up spending the night in his office. He rolled in about 930 this morning with reports of so many abandoned cars that it looked like a sporting event. All we were missing was the stadium. Hell, Waffle House ran out of food. the apocalypse is indeed upon us.

The weather isn’t on track to get any better tonight or early tomorrow. The news flat out told people to not go out before noon tomorrow unless absolutely necessary. Everything that melted today will just refreeze. By Friday, it’ll be in the 50s again. At least those in the North have time to get used to the cold weather and it stays cold. I was wearing short sleeves on my birthday 2 weeks ago. I was wearing short sleeves on MLK day. Yesterday it was thick pants, boots, and a heavy coat. It’ll keep doing this until late March. It’s a crapshoot as to what will happen when.

In short, cut us a little slack. The city’s infrastructure sucks, but the people don’t. There were plenty of people who were helping each other out. People offering their houses to people stranded or walking down the interstate offering coffee to drivers. People with 4 wheel drive or otherwise easily driveable cars stopping to pick up people walking and give them a ride. A baby was born on the highway. It’s situations like this which show that the world isn’t such a bad place, regardless of what the news wants us to think. People are still kind and willing to help each other. Here’s to all the good people who decided to help their fellow man, no matter how grand or how small.