Of fathers and the advice they offer

Lately when I’ve been talking to people, I’ve noticed a lot of “My dad told me…” or “He instilled in me…”.  After almost losing him this year, I’ve taken what he’s taught me more to heart than ever. Since I love lists, here’s a list of things I’ve learned from my dad.

*Dress for the job you want, not the job you have

*Be grateful for the small gestures. It still means that person cares enough to try.

*Pick your battles.

*Basic self defense.

*The ins and outs of the working world, especially our industry.

*Recognizing when I’m getting frustrated and when to walk away.

*If someone breaks my heart, no matter how much he likes said person, he wouldn’t give a second thought to killing them, burying them face down in a shallow grave, and making sure that person is never heard from again. 😉

*Don’t take the world too seriously.

*Getting older is required, growing up is optional.

*You can never say “I love you” too much.

*The strength to take a deep breath, get up, and keep going.

*If you insist on throwing things during a tantrum, make sure it’s soft and you’re not aiming at anything living.

*Graveyard humor (as it were).

*There’s no shame in sobbing into someone’s shirt (read: his)

*Know your flaws and be patient with yourself. Don’t let someone else bring out the worst in you.


Now is the time to start planning something ridiculously over the top for his 60th birthday. I’m thinking Vegas. 😉



Of years and reviewing them

Sorry I’ve been off the radar, fair readers. Nothing has blown up & no one has died. I just didn’t really have much to say.

Here’s my obligatory round up of 2014. I won’t go so far as to say it was the worst year of my life. It’s probably in the top five, though. So begins the breakdown, by month.


Birthday month! I love birthdays, especially mine. I began the last year of the second decade of my life. And there were deviled eggs. On the flip side, I still couldn’t drive and this was with ClusterFlake 1.0. Thus, I ended up stuck in 2 cars over the course of give or take 10 hours. Even if I could drive, I still probably would have camped out at my office. That’s neither here nor there.

Final Review: Meh


Found out my dad had the brain tumor. I also still couldn’t drive. ClusterFlake 2.0.

Final Review: Fail


Was officially back on the roads! Yay! On the third, my dad had his brain surgery. Less that a week later, he was back in the hospital. This began Month One of his hospital stay. Being able to drive again bumps this month up from “fail” to “meh”.

Final Review: Meh


Month Two of my dad being in the hospital. This was the time where my heart jumped into my throat every time I got a text message or my phone rang. This was also when my very first boyfriend died suddenly. I still don’t know officially what killed him, but it was either a heart attack or a stroke. He had just turned 30 two months prior.

Boy & I did go to Vegas this month. Again, that bumps it up from a “fail” to a “meh”.

Final Review: Meh


Dad finally got out of the hospital for good. No more near heart attacks when my phone would ring or I’d get a text.

Final Review: Win


The now infamous trip to Bonnaroo. In retrospect, it was pretty funny. At the time, not. at. all. It ate up 4 of my vacation days which I would have liked to use later.

On the other hand, my dad got to see his 59th birthday. That alone gives it the win.

Final Review: Win


…It was a month.

Final Review: Meh


Boy & I traveled up to Minnesota to visit my sister. We had fun watching life in the northern Midwest. Oh, shut the front door.

Final Review: Win


The first day of September marked the last day of DragonCon. I didn’t have nearly as good of a time as I did in 2013. Otherwise, I have no use for the month of September. It’s the Tuesday of the year.

Final Review: Meh


My dad, sister, Boy, & I went up to visit my dad’s side of the family. We had a blast, Boy got to see our unique brand of crazy, and we introduced them to Cards Against Humanity. My dad was also well enough to work Netherworld & even had a few standing roles (after a double hip replacement, it’s no small feat). We also had our biggest Halloween to date with 425 adoring fans.

Final Review: Win


I was reassigned to a new boss, leaving behind my old one. This was a huge blow for both of us. Boy went with my family to see my mom’s side for Thanksgiving. It could have been a lot more boring, but I still wasn’t a fan. He had no problems with them. I’m unfairly biased against them after some particularly cruel comments my grandfather made regarding my tattoos. The end result was my refusal to visit them for the better part of 6 years.

Getting a new boss overshadows everything else in the month, thus a fail

Final Review: Fail

December (with 7 days left):

Still in the process of working out the kinks in my relationship with my new boss. I have to keep reminding myself he’s a 28 year old boy. He may look like he’s in his 40s, but looks can be deceiving. He’s very good at coming off as overly superior & a bit meglomaniacal. I let him push my buttons all too frequently. He did, however, manage to get rid of my (third) dead weight employee.

I did take the chance to get my old boss a Christmas present & write a card that came straight from my heart. I cried while I wrote it. I know that may sound silly, but losing a mentor is never easy. Obi Wan Kenobi, anyone? Sure, he’s not dead & we still sit 10 feet away from each other. It’s just not the same. I got a hug after he read it. Mission accomplished.

If you follow me on Instagram (RetroIndieQueen) you’ve already seen my Christmas present. Boy got me a kitten. She’s epileptic (yes, I’m a sucker) & the shelter was worried they’d have a hard time getting her adopted. When she was originally adopted out, she started having seizures and the original adopter brought her back. She needs her meds twice a day just like I do. She’s even on one of the same drugs. We were more than happy to take her in. As I write this, she’s snoozing away on the other end of the couch. Cassie has accepted her, even though she doesn’t want to play. She’s too old for that shit.

Conditional final review: Win

As can be seen from the above, this wasn’t my year. While nothing directly happened to me other than the driving restriction, it still took a lot out of me. Without any embellishment, my dad almost died. My relationship with my boss died suddenly in the metaphorical sense. I’ll be mourning that loss for a while. At least nothing major happened with Boy.

I’ll turn 30 in 17 days. I like that my birthday is close to the beginning of the year. It’s nice to be able to almost match a new year for the Julian Calendar with my own new year. One girl I know from elementary school turned 30 last weekend and posted about how “scary” it was. I’m looking forward to it. I’m grateful to say that I’ll see another birthday. Emily will never see her 30th birthday. She didn’t even get to see her 25th. Jeff saw his 30th birthday, but not for long.

There are lots of possibilities waiting for me in the next few months. Some are exciting and at the same time intimidating. I kept a promise to myself and followed through with my end of the deal. Whatever happens next is out of my control. It would be really nice if it panned out, though.

C’mon 2015, I know you have it in you.